Blondes Do It Better
by Marisa-san
Summary: Sex, Cigarettes, Threats, and more Sex. This was how things usually went for Kenny. I don’t think anyone would've seen the day where he actually fell in love. It's a shame he falls for someone as dishonest in love as himself. KennyxBebe [On HIATUS]
1. Prologue

**Blondes Do It Better**

**Chapter 1: **Prologue

Hey everyone. Yes, I am starting yet another story without working on my others, (only because I couldn't shake this idea.) It's about Kenny mostly. Whewt whewt. Cheers to one of the hottest SP characters!

Btw, I gave Craig the last name Smith just because I'm unaware of him having a set last name.. so I just thought up something quick. :P

This is just a prologue. Next chapter thing are gonna get started and get good. :D (hopefullyyy)

Please R&R! Reviews are much appreciated. :)

Disclaimer: Don't own South Park, or anything related to that. But I own this idea.

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He looked so content when he slept. With his blonde hair delicately falling over his face, you could have mistaken him for an angel. There were no wrinkles developed in his skin, it was as if he never aged. You could have mistaken him for a kind, selfless soul.

The morning's sun shone through the window blinds, a ray of light falling right upon his face. The sun irritated his eyes, as it pulled him right from his sleep. As he awoke, he couldn't help but notice a full head of hair right before his eyes. It was only as he was fully awake that he must've realized there was a girl in front of him.

This wasn't really a shock to him, though. He woke with a girl in front of him often.

It took him a while to actually remember who it was, though. It was pathetic, but he often slept with girls, and couldn't even remember who it was days later.

But they would never forget his name. He was considered one of the biggest whores of their school, everyone knew him, and everyone knew that if you wanted a good time, you went to him. He was a sex god.

"Mmm… Kenny." The girl must have begun to stir as well, as she turned over to face him, her face very pleased. "Last night was good, wasn't it?" Kenny paused. He remembered now.

"Millie," he smiled back. The only reason he remembered her, was the fact they'd gone to grade school together. "It was good." He replied honestly, though that was all he could think of to say. It wasn't as though it was anything special to him, or had meant anything.

She captured his lips in her own, and he let her.

Kenny McCormick could get any girl. Many of them practically threw themselves at his feet, so it was rare when he was the one chasing after anyone. When he was, it was actually a pretty big deal, the girl feeling "honoured," and running right to him. But of course, when they would come to him for a good time, he would gladly welcome them into his arms, hence why many people referred to him as "the horny bastard." It didn't really matter who it was, Kenny was always up for sex.

He'd never really had a real girlfriend. Sometimes he was envious of Stan and Wendy, because they had real love. Kenny didn't really know what love was, except that it made Stan crazy with happiness. It wasn't like he'd received a lot of it from his family, and the closest he had to it with a women was a two-week relationship he'd had with Lizzie in the eighth grade. She ended up dumping him, saying she'd seen the looks he'd been giving Red. He didn't deny it either. He had liked Lizzie at the time, but she got too annoying, and too needy. Kenny needed his freedom, and he'd look at Red's ass whenever he damn felt like it.

When his sexual feelings weren't in the way though, Kenny was a pretty good friend. He'd been close with Stanley Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Eric Cartman since as long as he could remember. Kenny had always felt as though Eric was a closer friend to him than Kyle or Stan, simply because Style, which is what he liked to call them, only cared for each other. They were so close that they were almost gay for each other.

Eric wasn't your typical good friend, in fact, him and Kenny had almost nothing in common, except that both of them were assholes. Kenny would admit it, he wasn't living a do-gooder's life. But he was living in the now, and doing all he could before he died - for good.

But somehow, the two of them ended up friends. They weren't as close now as they had been in the past, but they would still talk from time to time.

As they'd grown up though, Kenny had become closer with Craig. If anything, Craig was like a best friend to him. Neither of them really cared for anything, and just lived how they wanted. When you heard the PA system coming on, you could have guessed they were making an all call for Kenny McCormick and Craig Smith because they'd caused some kind of trouble before the principal even said it.

Kenny had a lot of enemies. A lot of guys hated him, only because he stole all the women. Of course, a lot of men had respect for him, and thought he was one of the funniest guys there was. When a guy was threatening to punch his face in, Kenny had a whole group of guys willing to defend him. Of course, Kenny would fight whoever wanted a piece of him, but he wasn't considered one of the best fighters. He was so skinny and frail, for he was under-nourished.

"Alright well, I gotta get home soon, or my father might be suspecting something." Millie gave a wink to Kenny, before pulling the sheets off of her to reveal her naked body.

_'I'm sure he suspects something already.'_ Kenny rolled his eyes. He didn't know how any father could not recognize his daughter was a slut when she dressed like a whore.

As Millie fumbled around to dress herself, Kenny simply remained in bed, smoking a cigarette. Kenny had been to the hospital a few times, the doctor explaining it was very dangerous for him to smoke, considering he was under-nourished. Of course, it didn't really matter to Kenny, as it wasn't like he hadn't died before, no big deal.

As Millie announced she was leaving, Kenny saw her out of the house, before returning to his cigarette.

He'd lounge around a little longer, before getting ready to go out to some club with Craig. He was positive him and some chick would begin to get all flirty with each other, a boyfriend would step in, and yet Kenny would still be the one getting laid at the end of the day. He knew because it happened every time.

Sex, Cigarettes, Threats, and more Sex. This was how a day usually went for Kenny.

I don't think anyone would have seen the day where Kenny actually fell in love.

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I hope you enjoyed. :) Please review!


	2. Time Well Spent

**Blondes Do It Better**

**Chapter 2: **Time Well Spent

Hey everyone. Yea, I'm bringing you the second chapter of BDIB! I hope you're excited. :D **REVIEW!**

Disclaimer: Don't own South Park, or anything related to that. But I own this idea.

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As Stan marched towards the group, he sat his tray upon the table, before sliding into a spot beside Kyle. 

"Ok, what is it, Cartman?" He asked, before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Yea, what's so amazing that we all had to gather here for?" Kyle added in irritably. He hated Cartman's meetings so very, very much. No wait, he just hated Cartman.

"Okay, you guys, you're never going to believe this." Cartman began, awaiting the group's excited remarks. When none came, he continued. "Ok, ok, you're _never_ going to believe what happened."

"_What_, Cartman." Kyle said apathetically, taking a sip from his beverage.

"Ok, ok, last night- oh man, you're not even gonna _believe _what happened!"

"Cartman!" Stan and Kyle bellowed in unison. The chubby boy sighed,

"Alright, alright. Last night I was doing some studying-" Kyle spit out his drink.

"_You_? Studying?"

"Shut up you stupid Jew! Let me finish my goddamn story!" The fat boy snapped. "Ok, so last night I was studying what's in hotdogs, because you know all those lies about there being like pig snouts, and animal hair, and rats tails, in them; I wanted to know if it was true and stuff. So I looked up what was _really_ in them, and it's only like meat fat, flour and spices! Why do people lie to make me feel guilty about the great food I eat? I mean I _actually_ stopped eating them because my mom told me I could die from eating rat's tails! They _do_ live in sewers and stuff. But it was all a lie so I can eat them again! And so can you guys!" He exclaimed.

Kyle simply glared at him, giving him the 'you're-kidding-me-right?' face, before just getting up and taking his food elsewhere. Stan as well bore that face, but didn't as rudely get up and walk away.

"Are you kidding me." Stan stated what everyone wanted to say. "_That_ is what I'm not going to believe?"

"And maybe you were better off not eating hotdogs, now you're just gonna become even fatter." Kenny grinned.

"Ey, shut up you poor fuck. You _live_ in rats." Eric retaliated. Kenny shrugged.

"So? I'm not fat." Cartman was about to defend himself, before they both heard Stan sigh from in front of them.

"Here's comes Wendy!" He exclaimed. A short women with lush black hair and symmetrical facial features walked towards Stan, her beauty very sophisticated. It was clear that she spent a lot of time making herself look good, but not so much that her face looked caked in pounds of make-up.

"Hey Stanley!" She squeaked excitedly, standing at the end of their table.

"Hey babes." He grinned up at her. She was beautiful. And she was all his. Cartman and Kenny's argument had completely fallen silent when she'd made her way over, Eric's attention somewhere else. Many people suspected he was jealous of Wendy and Stan's relationship, but he brushed it off. He didn't like Wendy, he didn't like anyone. He hated everything, especially Kyle.

"I was wondering if you'd want to go to a dance on Friday!" She exclaimed. "There's going to be a lot of couples going, I thought we could go too."

"Sure, I'd love to go." Stan replied happily, fantasizing about Wendy and him dancing, pressed together, beads of sweat running down their necks, under the multi-coloured lights, as their tongues danced-

"Great!" The girl's squeak snapped him out of his daydream. His eyes caught Kenny trying to get a peek up her skirt, since she was standing at the edge of the table. "Kenny!" He snapped. Wendy and Eric's attention was drawn to him, and he smirked. "What?" He shrugged.

Wendy shot him a dirty look, before taking a seat beside Stan. "You're _still _a little pervert." She said coldly.

"Well hey, I _am_ the school's 'sex god,' or so I've heard people refer to me as." He smiled as he said the words.

"Well then go find a willing girl to look up the skirt of, rather than my _girlfriend_." Stan said, making a point that Wendy Testaburger was _his_. Kenny nodded,

"Ok, I will. I can get any girl anyway." Wendy rolled her eyes, a he lifted himself up from the table. "I'll be back."

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As he marched his way out of the cafeteria, he immediately saw a good looking girl to win over. As he approached her, she shot him a dirty look. 

"Don't come any closer to me, Kenneth McCormick." She spat, placing her hands on her hips. Kenny's eyes literally went wide, he wasn't used to this kind of behaviour.

"Uh… Why?" He asked, keeping his distance from her. Disregarding her previous threat, she approached him, and poked her finger into his chest.

"You- you jerk!" She pressed her finger into his chest again, harder this time. "You told me you'd call me the day after our… outing, and I never received a phone call! We never talked again, and two days later I see you with some skank!" Kenny shifted his weight, before breaking out one of his charming smiles.

"I'm sorry, babe." He smiled, before placing his hand on her waist and pulling her closer to him. She didn't object to this, and he quickly thought up a lie. "I thought you said _you _were going to call _me_, and when I didn't receive a phone call, I assumed you'd moved on. I was only trying to make you jealous and win you back when you saw me with that girl." As she looked up at him, he flashed her an innocent smile.

"Aw, Kenny, I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arms around his lower back, before raising herself onto her tippy-toes in order to reach his lips. He welcomed her kiss, and deepened it, their tongues entangling with one another. As they pulled away, the women pulled herself into his chest. "I hope I didn't hurt you Kenny." Kenny laughed inwardly.

"Well, now that we're together, it's okay." He smiled.

"Aww, Kenny. You are the best." She grinned at him, "We should, uh, 'hang' later. Cool?" She asked.

"Cool." He repeated. She reached up and kissed his lips once more, before explaining she had to leave. Kenny didn't object, and watched as she scurried off, wondering what her name was.

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As Kenny approached the table he'd ditched only moments ago, he heard Wendy sigh. 

"Ugh, what is it _now_ Kenny." She asked peering up at him.

"Well, I just made out with some random girl who seems to think we're together." He shrugged before taking a seat in front of the couple. Stan sighed, bothered by this intrusion on their intimacy time.

"Amazing, what else is new." Stan said. Kenny ignored this.

"Where'd Cartman go?" He asked, not actually caring that much. Wendy piped up before Stan had a chance.

"He got tired of us displaying our affection to one another and left."

"Oh." Was all Kenny could say, remaining where he was, though it was obvious to him that the couple wished him gone.

"Why don't you go make out with your new girlfriend?" Stan asked, growing irritated. Once again, Wendy jumped in before Kenny had a chance to answer.

"Don't you feel bad about playing _so _many girls? I don't even know what they see in you." Kenny laughed.

"Like they're actually looking for real relationships, they know their just in it for the sex, they just don't want to seem like whores-"

"Not all women are like that you know. Maybe some of them actually think you're interested. Don't you feel bad about breaking hearts?" Wendy asked. Kenny pretended to think about this for a moment, before responding.

"No. Does it look like I care? I have all a guy wants… women. And alcohol." Wendy rolled her eyes.

"Wouldn't you feel better about being devoted to one woman that you love, like Stan is?" She batted her eyelashes at Stan, causing Kenny to laugh.

"Yea, you have Stan whipped. I feel sorry for him." Before Wendy had the chance to tell off Kenny, a high pitched shrill erupted to their side. All three of them turned their heads to see Bebe Stevens prancing towards them.

"Wendy!" She cried, sliding into a seat beside her best friend. "I need you to help me!" Stan sighed once more, there was no way he was getting his time with Wendy back now.

Kenny knew this girl, of course, everyone knew this girl. She was one of the biggest sluts in the whole school. One of the only girls Kenny had never had sex with. In his opinion, it was more of an accomplishment to be a man and have hundreds of girls fondling over you, but when a woman was throwing her body away to anyone and _everyone_, it was low. This girl had had sex with almost anything that moved.

However, she was quite a lot like Kenny.

"I need you to like, help me for this test I have. I have absolutely _no clue_ what I am doing." Wendy sighed.

"Okay, I will help you Bebe." There was a long silence.

"Like, now?" Bebe urged. Wendy shot a look to Stan explaining her apologies, before scurrying off with her best friend. Stan crossed his arms over the table before resting his forehead on them.

"I hate life." He mumbled. Kenny smirked.

"You must hate that bitch."

"Who, Bebe?" Stan lifted his head, eyeing Kenny. "Don't tell her I said this, but she's so annoying, always cutting into our time and stuff." Kenny crossed his arms.

"Then tell her to piss off."

"I can't just do that, Kenny." Stan said, shaking his head. "She's Wendy's best friend. If I get her upset, it's gonna get Wendy upset, and that's gonna get _me_ upset! No matter what, I lose."

"This is why girlfriends suck." Kenny concluded.

"Well you wouldn't know, Ken. You've never had one." The blonde gasped.

"I have so." He said, pretending to be offended. "And I hated it. In conclusion, girlfriends suck." Stan laughed, brushing his bangs out of his face.

"Well, there are good parts about being in a relationship."

"The sex?" Kenny brightened up. Stan sighed yet again.

"No, Kenny, it's not all about the sex, though that is an up side…" He muttered. "Anyway, it's more about the moments you share, and stuff, and the feeling you get when you see their face, and how-" Kenny held up his hand as if to silence Stan. "What?"

"Just- just stop. You're melting heart is making me cringe." The two boys chuckled before a tall male approached them. "Ey, Craig." Kenny said, ending his laughter. Stan merely glared up at Craig, he'd never been too found of him.

"Hey Ken." Craig didn't even bother to acknowledge Stan's presence before continuing. "Eh, I just bought four grams of weed off some guy. Pay me half and I'll give you half." He said. Everything in life had a price, regardless if you were friends.

"Deal." Kenny grinned, lifting out of the lunch table. "See ya." He called back to Stan, before heading out of the cafeteria doors. Stan frowned as he faced an empty lunch table.

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Whewt! Another chapter down! Now REVIEW! Hahaha. No, seriously. Do it. :) 


	3. Detention

**Blondes Do It Better**

**By: Marisa**

**Chapter 3: **Detention

Whoot whoot. Another chapter of "Blondes Do It Better." I hope you're as excited as I am. Make sure you review, or you might meet an unfortunate fate.

I own South Park.

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.

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The blonde made his way to his destination, a place which he rarely attended, and yet a place he was definitely not unfamiliar with. He carried his books under his right arm, in hopes that he could fool any form of authority that he was at least doing _something_. His bag was strung over his left shoulder, however inside of it was nothing school-related.

It was Wednesday afternoon. And unfortunately for Kenny, he had nothing planned for the evening. It was rare when he wasn't doing something, and it was also rare when he was attending his detention.

Which he was already late for.

The halls of the old school were clear for the most part, as the majority of the students had already begun clearing out of the school, and making their way home. Some girls marched through the halls in their sports uniforms, getting ready to play in the game that they would surely lose. The one and only South Park high school was never known as an athletic school, and only held few trophies, all of which had been received for achieving a rank lower than 2nd place.

All the students that came to the high school lived in South Park all their life. No one from out of town bothered to come to such a run-down school. Therefore, almost everyone knew everyone.

However, while that was the case, Kenny was still unfamiliar with many people. While everyone knew him, he could only place names on specific people, and they were mostly people he'd been to elementary school with. While there was only one high school in the small town, there were one or two more grade schools than the one Kenny had attended.

Unfortunately, ever since public school, Kenny had always been known for skipping school, detentions, whatever he could. So it was rare when he decided to go to detention.

As he marched into the room, he was greeted by the hard stare of the teacher, along with the surprised faces of his peers to the fact that he'd even come.

"Look who it is." The teacher mumbled. "Why are you late, Mr. McCormick?" The blonde shrugged.

"I had to go to my locker to get my books." He said, which was truthful. He _had _gone to his locker, yet he _had_ taken his sweet time.

"Please take a seat and take out some work." The teacher grumbled, gesturing towards several empty desks before looking back down to do his work. "And please do _something_ productive, Mr. McCormick."

As the boy made his way to the desks, he did a quick scan of the people. It was expected for Craig to have a detention, yet Kenny wasn't expecting that Craig wouldn't be there. And of course, he wasn't.

Cartman however, was seated right in the corner of the class, furthest from the teacher. Kenny's favourite spot.

Deciding to take a seat near his fat childhood friend, Kenny made his way to the back of the class, laying out his books on the desk in front of Eric. As he took his seat, he turned his head back to see the chubby boy doodling on his paper.

"Well Kenny, I'm surprised you showed up." Cartman mumbled, continuing his useless drawing that was totally irrelevant to his work.

"Well I had nothing better to do." Kenny sighed, leaning his head against the wall to the side of his desk. "Do you have an extra pencil, Cartman?" The boy behind him raised his head up from his paper, eyeing the blonde in front of him.

"What, are you going to do work or something?" Kenny sighed.

"Yea right. I just wanna draw random shit on the desk 'cause I'm bored." He replied, holding his hand out to receive the writing utensil. Unfortunately, his request was not met.

"Sorry poor boy, I don't give out pencils for free. You're gonna have to pay me fifty cents."

"Fuck you." Kenny replied, pouting.

"I hope you're working over there." The teacher's voice boomed over the mostly silent room, the students of the class eyeing the two boys at the back.

"We sure are." Kenny lied, which everyone was aware of. Turning to his front, he noticed a head of blonde hair. He was familiar with this girl, so he didn't feel guilty about asking her for a pencil.

"Bebe," he said quietly, as he tapped her shoulder. Almost immediately, she whipped around to face him. "Do you have an extra pencil?" The girl giggled.

"No, I don't even have one for myself. I just have a pen." She shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry Kenny."

"Could I use a pen then?" The teen requested. The female only shook her head.

"I'm sorry Kenny, it's just I'm working on something, so…"

"No big deal." He shrugged as well, before peering over the girl's shoulder to her work. "What are you working on?" He asked, resting his elbows on the desk, before placing his head on his hands. The girl lifted the binder into her hands, before revealing her paper to him.

"I'm trying to do my math work," she replied, "but I don't really get it. I mean, it's so difficult with these fractions and stuff." Kenny merely glanced at the paper, before coming to the conclusion that he didn't know what it meant either. It was true, blondes were stupid. Or at least, he was. And so was Bebe, clearly.

"Well, since it's division, you have to divide the numbers or something. I think that's what you do, right? Like, divide the top number by the bottom number for both." The girl brightened up.

"Yea, that must be what you do… Kenny, you're so smart." The girl said flirtatiously, batting her eyelashes at him. Her sudden behaviour didn't turn Kenny on in the slightest. As horny as he usually was, he definitely preferred girls who at least pretended to be innocent. They were generally more fun to have in bed. Kenny would admit it, ever since he'd viewed some Japanese porn, the cute school girl types were definitely more appealing to him. And on the bonus side, they probably had less of a chance of carrying an STD. Not that he doubted that he didn't have one himself.

"Are you really going to listen to a dumb fuck like him?" Cartman interrupted Kenny's thoughts, though talking just low enough that the only the two could hear. "You have to find the reciprocal first, and then multiply. Even _I _know that. And by the way Bebe, you're not supposed to do math in pen."

"You're still a fucking idiot." Kenny said, grinning at the fatass. Of course, Kenny's insult quickly generated a laugh from the girl in front of him. He was used to girl's pretending to find what he said funny in hopes he'd like them more. Or perhaps they did find it funny, but most of them definitely exaggerated their laughter.

"Ey, shut up. At least I can actually pass a class."

"So? At least I've had sex." The blonde grinned, at the now red, and very furious Eric Cartman. Kenny could hear Bebe laughing hysterically, and see several peers turning their heads to see what was going on.

"Shut the fuck-"

"Eric Cartman, Kenny McCormick, do I have to send you to the office?" The teacher piped in with an apathetic tone, glaring over his glasses.

"No sir." Cartman said sweetly, before shooting Kenny a threatening look. Kenny laughed inwardly, the fat male didn't scare him in the slightest. He knew that as soon as they walked out of that classroom, they'd be back to being friends -- or whatever was close to it.

"Kenny, you can use my pen now. I know I'm not going to finish my work." The offered, holding out the pen. The boy eyed it, before turning his head from her. He didn't really want to continue the conversation with her any longer.

"Just get Cartman to help you. Then you can finish."

"Uh, no." Eric responded rapidly, still focusing on his drawing. "I don't help people for free."

"Well no one is going to buy services from a dumb fuck."

"Funny, I'm the one who helped her."

"Funny because-"

"Kenny McCormick, Eric Cartman, stop talking, and _do you work_!" The teacher said firmly, interrupting their bickering. Kenny didn't respond, instead just once again leaning his head against the wall.

As he begun to relax, just sitting there, eyeing the class, he couldn't help but notice that time was moving awfully slowly. It was only 10 minutes since he'd come, it would be a long time until he could leave.

Why did he even come? Was he that bored that he just wanted to sit around in a detention to become more bored? At least his arguments with Cartman had been entertaining, but now he had nothing to do.

Even Bebe was more interesting.

It was only as Kenny was becoming used to the dead silence that his phone went off. The loud ring caused the heads of many students to turn in the room, the teacher included.

"Please turn your cell phone off, Mr. McCormick." The teacher commanded.

"Yes sir." The blonde lied once more. Turning himself slightly away from the eyes of the teacher, he flipped open his phone screen to read that he'd received a message.

It was from Craig. Opening it, he read it as quickly as he could.

_ken where r u. ur bitch is looking for u at my house. & stan told her to ask me where u were.. Wtf_

Kenny read of the message several times, not fully understanding it. He wrote up the best response he could.

_what? Who?_

After sending it, he quickly set his phone to vibrate mode, so that the notifying sound would not interrupt that class.

He wasn't exactly expecting this to be important, as it wasn't like girl's hadn't looked for him before, but Craig didn't usually text message him about it. He just told them "I don't know, find him yourself." and flipped them off. While on one hand he didn't really care what was going on, the other side of him was curious to know.

The female in front of Kenny turned around, her curly blonde hair rolling over her shoulder. Her face was cute, with a curious look, her piercing blue eyes looking straight into his. If she had the personality of a kind, sweet person, she could have passed for an angel.

Just like Kenny.

"What happened?" She asked. Bebe must have been referring to the phone incident. The male shrugged.

"Just a text message, that's all."

"From who?" she inquired. She really could be annoying, but at least talking to her was less boring than sitting around waiting for a message.

"Craig." He replied simply, hoping she'd turn around. Unfortunately, she didn't. But fortunately, the message came.

Almost instantly, the boy whipped out his phone, the girl watching him curiously.

_ur ex-gf. Lizzie. She's lookin for u, shes at my house . She told me shes not leavin until u come_

Kenny's eyes went rather wide just reading this message. Lizzie was Kenny's only real girlfriend. Although, he wouldn't exactly have called their relationship real considering how young they were. But still, she was the only girl Kenny had actually dated.

She'd moved away right before the ninth grade. And here she was in South Park. Why had she even come back? Who would _want_ to come back?

_ok… ill be there in like 20 mins……_

Bebe must have read his facial expression quite clearly, because her first words after he'd responded to the message where "what happened?"

Kenny looked at her, before shrugging. "You know Lizzie? That girl we went to school with?"

"Ugh I hate that bitch." Was heard from Cartman. Kenny rolled his eyes.

"Yeah?" Bebe said.

"Yeah well, she's here. And she's looking for me, or something." It wasn't a huge deal. I mean, Kenny would just tell her to leave. From what he remembered of the pink hooded girl, she was a bitch, just as Cartman had stated. He had no idea what he ever saw in her.

"Oh." Was all Bebe could respond with, before the teacher announced that they could be dismissed.

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